I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
