i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
