we have officially lost it.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
home. puking in laundry basket.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
His nipple licking is glorious
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