I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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