Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
