I'm pants shitting drunk right now
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
