I wanna passion pit in your ass
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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