i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
