I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
