He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
