is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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