is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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