and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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