you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
