I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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