is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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