Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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