Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
