guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
