The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
