DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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