Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
