Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
