After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
