Jerry, you need to find god
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
