She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
