shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
