I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
