No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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