This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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