I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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