Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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