# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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