If i come over, it means nothing
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Randomize
