the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
