his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
