It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
