But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
