You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
