i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
