Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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