It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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