I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
