have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
