He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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