a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
i think im in europe. pls send help
I would fuck him just for his dog
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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