I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
