We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
