We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
