I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
