When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
