Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
