She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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